The clock read 8:19pm. I groaned with fatigue and anticipation of the evening that lay ahead. I had just finished going to the gym, cooking and eating dinner and playing with the pup. Unfortunately, two assignments, due in the morning, loomed between me and a good night's sleep (or that evening's episode of The Hills). Unfortunately, I'd spent much of the day in meetings and doing damage control on the daily crisis and was offered little opportunity for "real" work. So alas, I cracked open my laptop and settled in for the evening on the sofa, next to my husband, who was happily relaxing and enjoying his latest Xbox game. Occasionally, I would glance over and glare at him, as he enjoyed his evening. Finally finishing my assignments, I crawled into bed at 11:53pm, barely interested in brushing my teeth and taking out my contact lenses before falling into 6 hours of slumber.

Sound familiar? That's a real story of a recent evening in my life and I have a feeling I'm not unique. The end goal is elusive; it's coveted and it's certainly a buzz word at American corporations. Yes, ladies it's that thing companies tout as a great "benefit" of working at their company - being provided with the opportunity to balance work demands with your real life. I'm sure everyone has a slightly different version of what this means. To me, it's pretty simple - it means being able to balance my job, enjoy my family, friends and outside-the-office hobbies and be successful and happy at it all. Ok, maybe it's not that simple. Come to think of it, it's neither simple nor easy to attain.
In the age of laptops, iphones, blackberrys on the bedside table, 24/7 email access and the like, it's easy to become wrapped up in it all. Our mothers and grandmothers never worked in a similar environment....in most households, there weren't two incomes (aka most women didn't have demanding, corporate jobs), there wasn't the expectation to perform in a 24/7 environment, all the while maintaining composure through it all. Furthermore in today's economy, companies are downsizing, expecting the current employees to fill the void. It's not an easy environment in which to navigate. At times it can feel like a vast ocean, with endless responsibilities, tasks and no end in sight; and at others, it can feel like a shark tank, constantly fighting for the attention of your boss, spouse, friends and family. Add the work environment to trying to manage a household, whether that's just you and your pooch or a family of 5, and it can be overwhelming. I know women who have up and quit crummy jobs to try to regain their sanity and happiness, those who have confessed to crying every Sunday night and those who just stopped caring and were ultimately, terminated. I'm certainly not the penultimate role model for work life balance, but I'm slowly learning to set boundaries and manage life. Below I'm offering some things I've learned, advice I've received and tactics I've used to maintain a semblance of a "life."
Cut corners: I'm amazed by the number of smart, motivated women I know who have employed a housekeeper. I
judged laughed when I heard some of my friends mention it. I couldn't believe it. How could a self-respecting woman without children possibly need a housekeeper? What I've come to learn is that sometimes it is worth spending some cash to have a few extra few hours each week to enjoy life. Maybe it's not a housekeeper, but perhaps it's a lawn service or a dog walker or pre-prepared meals that might make your life a little more manageable. As long as you and yours are still happy and financially solvent (aka not going broke to pay the maid) at the end of the day, whatever you're doing is working. I challenge you to find ways to cut out simple, but time consuming household tasks to provide more "down time" to relax and spend time with family and friends.
Build a box: I've learned from some of my wise colleagues that people are often highly respected for setting work and personal boundaries and sticking with them. This doesn't mean gracing your office with your presence from 10-2, but it does mean establishing reasonable boundaries that gel with your company's culture and expectations. Maybe it means that 10 hours per day is your max, that you need to leave the office each day by 4:30 to pick up your son from daycare and have some QT with him or that you won't work in the evenings. One word of caution - make sure that your "boundaries" don't conflict significantly with your office culture, or else you might find yourself being labeled the slacker or the workaholic.
Make a schedule: There are weeks where I need to log a few hours in the evenings or on a weekend to complete a project. Definitely not my preferred evening entertainment, but I do my best to forecast when this may occur and "schedule" that time for myself. I find my weeks much more manageable if I "schedule" additional tasks to complete at home in the evenings. Like most, I operate better with a reward; if I can convince myself to tie up some loose ends on Tuesday night, knowing I'm having dinner with friends on Wednesday night, I'm much more likely to get everything done, and usually more efficiently, to boot!
Vacation sans email: Unless you're solving world hunger, do you really need your crackberry and laptop on your family vacation? They will only serve as distractions and interrupt your break. Most bosses actually like when you take vacation; it offers you a chance to recharge your batteries and come back to the office refreshed.
Chart a course: At the end of the day, you have to know what's best for your life and what makes up your career and life goals. It's ok if your officemate wants to be CEO and you endeavor to be a small team lead. You know what's best for you and makes you happy and helps you achieve your "
zen." Be confident in knowing that!
Related posts: A better morning routine, Stock your pantry for easy meals, Business trip essentials.
*Photo courtesy of JCrew.
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